Wednesday, February 26, 2014

I'm Alive!

I promise I'm alive, and I have lots of reviews and walkthroughs coming up. Work has just been super crazy, and I sort of really hate my job so on my off time I've been looking for a new gig because I cannot handle my life anymore as it is.
 
 
I also got sucked into Dandelion Wishes Brought to You and have been staying up way too late to play it.
I REGRET NOTHING.
 
The endings to this game though....my gosh....bittersweet. The stories are fairly well written, but the endings sort of crush my soul.
 
Anywho, I will be back soon with actual reviews soon before you all forget about me and find a new otome reviewer to worship. And by worship I mean barely tolerate.
 
 
 

Monday, February 17, 2014

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Subaru Tadokoro Normal Ending Review


Seriously you guys, never before has the ending to a game made me feel the need to go to church and confess all my sins as strongly as this one did.

Of course, I did not go to church because if I stepped foot anywhere near it I'm sure the whole thing would burst into flames, but that is neither here nor there. Are you ready for the most ridiculously insane, smutty, despicable, and obscene otome ending ever?

Then join me on this trip into HOLY SHIT DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN town, where Mayor WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED IN FRONT OF MINE VERY OWN EYEBALLS resides.


**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Subaru Tadokoro Sweet Ending Review



Subaru's Sweet Ending. I don't even know where to start with this.


I just.....don't know.

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Subaru Tadokoro Happy Ending Review


So here are my ramblings for Subaru's Happy Ending. I just....don't even know....like it started out so well and then it all just went completely off the rails. I feel like I need a week long break after playing this route.



**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder: Eisuke Ichinomiya Happy Ending Walkthrough


After playing so many Shall We Date games in a row, I needed a little Voltage break to mix it up a bit. Don't worry, I'm still working on my Subaru reviews, but here's Eisuke's walkthrough to get the Happy Ending to tide you over.

Episode One
* A cold person.
* Okay.

Episode Two
* To teach me something.
* Okay.

Episode Three
* I can’t say.
* Close your eyes.

Episode 4
* If it’s all right with Eisuke…
* No…

Episode 5
* No!
* I love Eisuke.

Episode 6
* I don’t know.
* That’s so cruel…

Episode 7
* Don’t worry about it.
* I want to apologize.

Episode 8
* Going to meet a friend.
* My boyfriend is Eisuke!

Episode 9
* No.
* I’ll sleep here.

Episode 10
* Get angry
* I don’t think I can think about it.

Episode 11
* Thanks for coming to get it.
* That’s nice of you.

Episode 12
* Offer yourself in exchange for Eisuke.
* Are you all right?

Episode 13

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Subaru Tadokoro Main Route Review

My hell you guys, are you ready for this? Because I don't know that I am.
 
Seriously, I hope you are prepared to take a one way trip on the crazy train to lunatic town where nothing makes sense and everything you ever thought you knew about life is wrong and seemingly innocent otome games are anything but. Oh, and guess what?! You'll think you're going to convince yourself that the various endings to this game totally weird you out, and you're going to put your phone down in shock and disgust only to realize moments later that you actually really liked all the endings. All of them. And you're going to pick your phone back up hesitantly at first, but then you're going to play the hell out of the game again and again and then probably again with a fervor the likes of which haven't been seen since that night 6 years ago when you played Guitar Hero for the first time completely hammered with a bunch of your friends at your apartment. You all thought you were Jimi Hendrix reincarnated and took turns shredding on that damn plastic guitar until 7 am before someone inevitably passed out in their own vomit and tears. Everyone then made a pact never to drink again mere hours before you all got drunk off jagerbombs and vodka mixed with Mountain Dew.
 
You'll realize after playing Subaru's route that nothing makes a lick of sense anymore so you might as well come to terms with your fucked up moral compass and weird fetishes now because this is your life from here on out; a mess of empty Pocky boxes and energy drinks strewn around you while you play an otome game that has dragged you straight down the rabbit hole into WHAT THE FUCKVILLE, where you actually want to buy a house and live forever.
 
 
**SPOILERS AND STRAIGHT LUNACY AHEAD, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK**

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Invite a Friend Campaign

So I'm working on my Subaru reviews, but my actual real life work that pays the bills as well as my otome addiction has been ridiculous this week. Hopefully the reviews will be up sometime this weekend because I need to get all the Subaru feels out before my brain explodes!
In the meantime, if you lovely readers of mine are playing the Baddest Bidder game by Voltage and you have an intense desire to enter in some codes for the Invite a Friend Campaign, you can totally enter mine. If you do, and we ever meet, I will give you the highest of high fives and buy you ice cream or a corn dog. Those are your only options :)


Monday, February 10, 2014

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Subaru Tadokoro Sweet, Happy, and Normal Ending Walkthroughs


Holy shit you guys, I can't even with this.

Words escape me right now. I just finished all three endings for Subaru, and hopefully when I get around to writing the reviews I will have something to say other than HOLY. SHIT.

So the Happy and Sweet Endings are basically the same choices until Chapter Ten.

Chapter One
* Thank him and accept the gift.
Chapter Two
* Tease him by offering the chair next to you.
Chapter Three
* Stay silent and nod at him.
Chapter Four
* Give the cake to him with a smile.
Chapter Five
* Tell him firmly you don't have a choice.
Chapter Six
* T-thank you so much!
Chapter Seven
* Then I want you to cheer me up some more.
Chapter Eight
* Look down apologetically.
Chapter Nine
* Why didn't you say anything?

Sweet Ending;
Chapter Ten
* I want to be with you.


Happy Ending;
Chapter Ten
* Say you'll do anything and take off your clothes.


Normal Ending;
Chapter One
* I wish you'd bought them just for me.
Chapter Two
* Tease him by offering the chair next to you.
Chapter Three
* Stay silent and nod at him.
Chapter Four
* Teasingly hold it out to him in one hand.
Chapter Five
* Shrug him off saying it's not his business.
Chapter Six
* I really wanted to see you!
Chapter Seven
* Hug onto him saying you're happy to hear that.
Chapter Eight
* But that's impossible!
Chapter Nine
* Bring his hand to your chest.
Chapter Ten
* Say you'll do anything and take off your clothes.

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Akira Kasamatsu Normal Ending Review

 
I went back and got the normal ending in Akira's route, and mere mortal words can not explain how glad I am that I went back and got this ending. I would have been missing out on soooo many obscene screenshots and some of the best lines this particular MC has ever uttered. This ending is pretty unbelievable, I assure you.
 
 
I've already reviewed the rest of the route and the other two endings here, so this will simply be all about the normal ending.  This worked out well, I feel like this needs it's own entry any way.
 
**SPOILERS AHEAD, AND THEY ARE MOST DEFINITELY NSFW**

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Akira Kasamatsu Normal Ending Walkthrough


Here's the walkthrough for Akira's normal ending. Thanks to the lovely anon for letting me in on the trick to it!

Chapter One
* I feel so lonely, I won't be able to fall asleep tonight.
Chapter Two
* Does it really have anything to do with work?
Chapter Three
* Squeeze the phone in between your breasts.
Chapter Four
* It almost looks like a wedding ring...
Chapter Five
* Deceive him and ask for a kiss.
Chapter Six
* I don't need anything.
Chapter Seven
* Blame him for making you feel miserable.
Chapter Eight
* I don't want to break up!
Chapter Nine
* I'll make something for us.
Chapter Ten
* Would you please be with me today?
Chapter Eleven

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Akira Kasamatsu Review (Happy and Sweet Endings)

 
Shall We Date?: Can't Say No is my first requested game review!!!! Yay!!!

Sidenote: If you have any games you would like me to review, let me know! They have to be available on IPhone though, since that's what I have.

I chose Akira first because he was first in the list of characters. That's really all there was to it. And I chose him even though he looked like this in the prologue.

Those are the angriest eyebrows I've ever seen.

I had no idea what this game was about, but after reading the prologue I figured it would be slightly similar to In Your Arms Tonight by Voltage, just probably with more descriptive sexy times which is usually the case with Shall We Date. You guys, I was not prepared for what was about to happen.....not at all. I get so excited to play new games and so I was super stoked about this, but this game totally threw me for a loop.

Yay new otome.....wait, WTF is happening?!?!
 
**SPOILERS AND SCREENSHOTS AND ALL AROUND CRAZINESS AHEAD**

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Akira Kasamatsu Sweet and Happy Ending Walkthroughs


Here are the walkthroughs for the Sweet and Happy endings for Akira's route in Can't Say No. I tried to get the normal ending, but it didn't work and I got tired of trying and wanted to finish Black Butler so I quit. Maybe I'll get around to it, because I'm interested in what the game makers consider to be normal, since this game is anything but.

Sweet Ending

Chapter One
* Now I can devote myself to my job.
Chapter Two
* Can’t you stay here with me just a little longer?
Chapter Three
* Stand there stupefied
Chapter Four
* Take the ring off
Chapter Five
* Tell the truth and apologize
Chapter Six
* I want to go travelling with you.
Chapter Seven
* Talk honestly about your feeling
Chapter Eight
* Talk about breaking up.
Chapter Nine
* Let’s go together to the convenience store.
Chapter Ten
* I never want to see you again.
Chapter Eleven



Happy Ending

Chapter One
* I feel so lonely, I won't be able to fall asleep tonight.
Chapter Two
* Can’t you stay here with me just a little longer?
Chapter Three
* Squeeze the phone in between your breasts.
Chapter Four
* Take the ring off.
Chapter Five
* Deceive him and ask for a kiss.
Chapter Six
* I want to go traveling with you!
Chapter Seven
* Blame him for making you feel miserable.
Chapter Eight
* I don't want to break up!
Chapter Nine
* Let's go to the convenience store together.
Chapter Ten
* Would you please be with me today?
Chapter Eleven

 
**EDIT**
 

Friday, February 7, 2014

Shall We Date?: Hero in Love, Billy Review

Billy is an American, and by golly they make that pretty clear. He's dressed like a cowboy, but not just any cowboy, he's dressed like the kind of cowboy that wins every event at the most flamboyant rodeo ever. He eats what the game eludes to as complete junk covered in ketchup and mayonnaise, but I thought it sounded like pretty typical meals for me so they got that pretty right on. He's brash, arrogant, a womanizer, is only known by his first name like Cher or Madonna, and he does things like this......
 
Bloew!
 
  
**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Shall We Date?: Hero in Love, Soh Hanamiya Review


Soh is a straight laced, no nonsense dude who acts like he's too cool for your shit. You're a burden and he sees you as nothing more than a nuisance that he begrudgingly has to deal with for the time being, much like how my parents viewed me after I moved back home and said "it'll only be for a year at most". That was four years ago. (thanks Mom and Dad! Instead of buying a house I'm spending my money on otome games, Netflix, and trips to Vegas and California).

I played Soh's route first because after I saw how much he looked like Masato Hijirikawa from Uta no Prince-sama I couldn't help myself. I love me some Hijirikawa.

WHY HIJIRIKAWA SENPAI??? IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE FICTIONAL??

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Shall We Date?: Hero in Love, Billy Sweet Ending Walkthrough

I was really excited to play Billy's route because he was so obviously some kind of ridiculous American stereotype that I couldn't wait to see what kind of nonsense he was going to say and do. I was not disappointed in the least, he did my country proud.


Walkthrough for the Sweet Ending, which, and I will get into this more in my review, should really be named the HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, OH MY GOSH THEY DID NOT JUST GO THERE, HOLY SHIT YES HE DID JUST SAY THAT AND THEY DID JUST GO THERE Ending.

Chapter One
* Is he just a complete playboy?
* Believe in him and watch him.

Chapter Two
* You're joking, right...
* No, it's fine.

Chapter Three
* Is it good?
* Stay put

Chapter Four
* It's not a game.
* Hide somewhere

Chapter Five
* They're kind of scary...
* I don't want to kill them.

Chapter Six
* I'm sorry....
* Yes, please

Chapter Seven
* They're really good at switching.
* Please tell everyone as well.

Chapter Eight
* Good morning.
* It's like a jewelry box.

Chapter Nine
* (I don't want to say)
* Hold him gently.

Chapter Ten
* I don't know.
* I don't want to give up.

Chapter Eleven
* Pretend to be angry.
* I'm sorry.

Chapter Twelve
 

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Shall We Date?: Hero in Love, Soh Hanamiya Sweet Ending Walkthrough

I really wasn't sure I would like Soh because he seemed like he would be boring, but of course I liked him. I haven't met an Otome man yet that I didn't care for at least a little bit. Plus his hair reminded me a bit of Masato Hijirikawa from Uta no Prince-sama.


So this is for Soh's Sweet Ending, which is always my preferred ending. I'll maybe get to the Happy Ending someday. Or not. I have so many games to play!

Walkthrough;

Chapter One
* I'll try not to be a nuisance
* Did you stroke my head?

Chapter Two
* Laugh
* I'll handle this.

Chapter Three
* Hotdog
*What are you talking about?

Chapter Four
* That's so mean
* Check on the wound

Chapter Five
* I'm sorry!
* It's all because you protected me.

Chapter Six
* Wait here
* I'm so curious

Chapter Seven
* You've got a gentle side too.
* The mission is top priority.

Chapter Eight
* You're mistaken!
* I'm coming with you.

Chapter Nine
* You should rest
* I won't leave without you

Chapter Ten
* I'll tell him
* Look down at Soh.

Chapter Eleven
* Try to stop him yourself
* Just thinking of how happy I am.

Chapter Twelve