Shall We Date?: Hero in Love, Hayate Shiranui Review

I was so excited for Hayate's route because he was such a mystery. From the prologue and just the looks of them, I could tell that Billy would be a playboy along with every possible American stereotype they could cram in to his personality, and Soh would be cold, strict, disciplined, and it would take a while for him to open up about his feelings. But Hayate, besides reminding me of David Bowie in his Ziggy Stardust days, was hard to figure out. I couldn't tell what he would be like even from the other guys' routes, and it just upped his cool, mysterious factor by a thousand. It reminded me of developing a crush on a stranger.

Like right now I have a thing for this dude at the local coffee shop. I obviously know nothing about him besides what I've learned in our brief interactions when I order a 16 oz frozen Mr. B (the BEST DRINK EVER), which means I have learned his name, that he has tattoos, gorgeous blue eyes, and his voice sounds like sexiness. But I like to imagine he plays guitar, is extremely intelligent and witty, has great taste in music as well as a preference for chubby blonde girls, and that he lives in a funky loft somewhere downtown with his dog.

Basically the embodiment of my barista crush. Let's just get married already.

But he could just as easily work part time at the coffee shop while living with his parents and smoking a copious amount of weed...or he could be a serial killer who deals meth..or maybe he doesn't like The Beatles or Brand New....or he may not know the difference between their, there, and they're. Building something up in your mind can very quickly cause a whole lot of disappointment

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

I expected Hayate to be a lot of things, but he wasn't anything that I imagined. He's a mix of both Billy and Soh, and all throughout his route I went from loving him one minute to wanting to drop kick him in the dick the next.

After you choose him as your bodyguard, he treats you very much like a child and likes to tease you by getting close to you and then pushing you away. This infuriated me quite a bit, only because it hits too close to home. STOP WITH THE MIND GAMES BOYS.

Proof that even fictional guys have a hard time growing the fuck up sometimes.

Though fairly immediately you can also tell he's a sweetheart. He appears out of nowhere when you're crying on the balcony over your missing father, takes you up to the roof to cheer you up, then puts his head in your lap which ends up producing the most glamorous CG ever. 

If this were a photo on America's Next Top Model, Tyra Banks would just immediately stop the competition and give him the title.

So basically you're trying to find your kidnapped dad, Hayate spends the vast majority of his time being gorgeous while leading you on and then brushing you aside, he has an issue with your honesty and thinks everyone is a backstabber, and the MC for most of the route is pretty lame and just kinda stands there or cries.

This came up because I think he put his arm around you or something, and like most MCs that action was enough to throw you into hysterics. It's like you can't be the MC in an otome game unless you were raised under a rock and have never seen a male before in your entire life.

Blushing Hayate! Though really it just looks like he was punched in his left eye. But hey, he knows how to apologize, and I've found that to be a rare thing amongst most men I know.

So Hayate can teleport, has ninja ancestors, is awesome with computers, and rocks arm warmers and a colorful scarf like he's the fucking king of the 80s. He also has a soft spot for kittens and children, and he has saved the latter more than once. Awww...

This is one point where the MC is useful, she uses her language skills to calm down a hysterical subway crowd after terrorists messed up their commute.

And though Hayate treats you like a child and a burden, and you have really done nothing but cry and stand around, it's pretty obvious he is protective and at least has some kind of feelings for you.

Then Hayate just keeps talking like nothing happened. He's so cool I can't stand it. If he were real I would not have the nerve to talk to him ever. He is the embodiment of the cool, mysterious barista who I basically drool over and always make a fool of myself in front of. I can't ever get the pen out of it's holder to sign my receipt since he makes me so nervous. Seriously, EVERY TIME I either drop the pen, it gets stuck, or I pull on it too hard and fling it across the room or smack myself in the face with it. I am a fucking mess.

At one point you think you have found your father, but the building he is supposedly in suddenly explodes. You understandably lose your shit, but Hayate takes care of your hysterical ass.

Calm yo bitch ass down.

You find out your father has been kidnapped, again, by 3 dudes right before the explosion, so you take up the search...again. But not before this little bit of sweetness from Hayate.

To be honest though, you deserved it. I really hope I get the opportunity someday to slap a hysterical person in the face.

After this little slap incident, Hayate becomes much gentler and kinder with you.

I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE. The last guy I cried in front of just stared at me for a minute and then started playing video games.

You get a phone call instructing you to go to some forest in order to find your dad, so you and the A Team go and surprisingly the 3 dudes that kidnapped your dad were the B Team. Totally didn't see that coming at all, except yes I did.

Hayate proceeds to up his coolness factor by saving you with his sickle and chain while looking like a much cooler version of Joseph and his Amazing Tehnicolor Dreamcoat. 

After the fight, which was only done to see if the A Team really was the A Team, you learn the B Team has your father and that he is keeping a huge secret from you. Hayate also takes a nosedive straight into douche territory after you thank him for everything he has done for you.

I am 100% okay with this.

YOU ARE A FUCKING DICK HAYATE.

He has some problem with you, and it's probably the same issue I have with most MCs. Quit the unnervingly innocent act, it sometimes borders on nauseating. I would say that this kind of person doesn't exist, but I've lived in Utah, so I know that these kind of people are EVERYWHERE and they are annoying as shit. Sticking to your guns, being a good person, and seeing the best in other people is one thing...but being so naive you make a toddler look like a well traveled genius is another.

Hayate has a thing for pushing you against walls apparently.

Boo.

After that things are awkward for a while, there is apparently a spaceship you guys have to protect, you learn Hayate doesn't trust people because his uncle stole his dad's company out from under him and his dad ran out on the family, the secret your dad was keeping was that you have powers, and you pass out because of fucking course you do. 

Hayate was worried about you, and he shows that by calling you names. It's like elementary school all over again, except you're dealing with a guy who is almost 30.

You return home where Hayate takes you up to the roof again. 

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAWD DAMMIT HAYATE, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

You fucking prick.

Later you come across Hayate grumbling about something in a garden while being surrounded by cats.

This is my future basically.

After you call out to him, he freaks out...

My guess is he was talking about you.

You learn that Raguel, the bad guy with a name that makes me think of spaghetti for some reason, is planning to Armageddon the shit out of the world TOMORROW. That's pretty darn soon, so you decide to return home to see if that will awaken your latent powers while everyone else is actually being fucking useful.

Nothing much happens at home, and Hayate has to come save you. Seeing you try so hard to be useful and realizing that you're maybe all going to die tomorrow, he admits his true feelings.

A legitimate question.

I melted here. FINALLY a grownup response that wasn't followed by psyche!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

You go back to the lab to regroup and figure out how you're going to save the world. Hayate then says my favorite thing ever..

I say this all the time. It's because I'm constantly surrounded by sass mouths.

Then this jerk shows up and puts everyone to sleep...

Oh, nice seeing you again.

And you get kidnapped and taken to his hideout. From there you use your powers to try and fight, Raguel nearly strangles you to death, you use your powers to tell Soh where you are, everyone shows up, and a battle ensues.

  

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Raguel is killed, but launches the spaceship that will obliterate earth before he dies. Hayate decides to teleport into the cockpit, and leaves you with his RIDICULOUS parting words.

WTF

Oh thanks Billy, my heart wasn't already in a bunch of pieces on the floor so please spell it all out for me because I'm apparently a fucking idiot.

But duh, Hayate can't possibly die because Solmare doesn't want a mob of girls burning down their headquarters. You walk in to the lab to see Hayate, who you apparently helped save with your powers.

He's smooth as fuck.

SMOOTH. AS. FUCK.

He then takes you up to the roof yet again. 

*SIGH*

Then you go to one of two endings.

Happy Ending

You work together with Hayate at a detective agency and you're about to get married. Hayate is late to the wedding, but it's okay because he's freaking adorable and has a good reason. 

Hayate in a suit is pretty much the greatest.

And he was late since he had to finish a bunch of work...

You are forgiven.

After the ceremony you meet Hayate's father, although you don't know it at the time, and then Hayate takes you up on yet another roof.

And that's it. LET DOWN. I mean I guess it's happy and cute, but we all know I am a fan of the R rated stuff.

Sweet Ending

You and Hayate are already married and working together at the detective agency. You get an assignment that involves Hayate's uncle and the company he so rudely stole, so you go with Hayate to have a very awkward and quick conversation with the uncle about fraudulent loans and other boring shit, and Hayate takes back the company and returns it to his dad. Then you go back to Hayate's office where a bit of roleplaying takes place.

Hayate in a suit really is the greatest thing ever.

I LIED, HAYATE IN A SUIT DURING SEXY TIMES IS THE GREATEST THING EVER.

I love everything about this.

HOLD UP.....do not spew forth body parts that sound so completely unsexy during sexy times. Clavicle? What the actual hell?

Then it basically stops there, and you guys go to a park to discuss having children. BOO. BOO. BOO.

Even though his smile is the definition of cute, I am still not happy.

WOMP WOMP.

LAMESAUCE.

Hayate's route was good, and the endings weren't bad persay, I was just expecting more. Probably because they made me wait so long for Hayate's route to come out that I had way too much time to build up way too many unreasonable expectations. It's hard not to be a little disappointed when I thought he was going to be some kind of androgynous, fabulous, INCREDIBLY DIRTY sex god instead of basically being a normal person who can teleport.

I'm on my way. Except there isn't wifi, so NEVERMIND.

Wendy's Otome Rating Scale

5.5 fangirl screams out of 10.

Preferred snacks for Hayate's route;

Pancakes. Hayate likes sweet food, and he makes you a batch of pancakes which is pretty darn cute. One of his redeeming qualities for sure.

Hot cocoa. Again, something sweet and one of Hayate's favorites. And, if you were slightly disappointed like I was, add some Bailey's Irish Cream to take the edge off.

Sour gummy worms, to go along with the sweet/sour sides of Hayate.