Shall We Date?: Hero in Love, Billy Review

Billy is an American, and by golly they make that pretty clear. He's dressed like a cowboy, but not just any cowboy, he's dressed like the kind of cowboy that wins every event at the most flamboyant rodeo ever. He eats what the game eludes to as complete junk covered in ketchup and mayonnaise, but I thought it sounded like pretty typical meals for me so they got that pretty right on. He's brash, arrogant, a womanizer, is only known by his first name like Cher or Madonna, and he does things like this......

 

Bloew!

 

  

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Same as Soh's route, your dad has been kidnapped, you're in danger, and you have to pick a bodyguard. After choosing Billy, he makes it pretty clear that he's a cocky playboy that wouldn't be opposed to getting invited to your pants party if you know what I mean ;)

 

He also likes to call you kitten, which if someone I just met called me that in real life I wouldn't be able to hide my disgust, but Billy can do whatever he wants because his shoulder fringe and high collar is the stuff dreams are made of.

 

Pretty much right away Billy and the A-Team have to go stop a bank robbery, and you come along of course because why not, the one thing you want at a crime scene where shots are being fired is MORE innocent bystanders. You learn Billy is clairvoyant and he would also most definitely win the gold medal in sharp shooting at the Olympics if he were to compete.

 

I know that burden.

 

So you have to live together, for your own protection of course, and Billy has a clothing optional rule. When he came on my phone screen like this I literally screamed and then laughed like an idiot for what seemed like an eternity.

 

What's wrong? What on earth are you wearing?

This is where I lost it. There is what appears to be a cow pattern on his budgie smugglers, and I would never in a million years call that sexy. Reminds me of the time I went to see Thunder from Down Under in Las Vegas and the costumes, or lack thereof, were so cheesy and ridiculous that had I not been drunk I probably would have felt super awkward.

OMG Billy you are my favorite.

 

Then of course there's an awkward "walk in on your male roommate while's he in the bathroom naked" scene, which is also something that legitimately happened to me once at my apartment. It was like 2 am when I went to use the bathroom and I opened the unlocked door only to see my roommate just standing there completely naked. I just stared at him for a second until my mind comprehended what was happening, and then not knowing what else to do, I went to the kitchen to make a frozen pizza. Makes sense.

 

 

Once he realizes that your innocent eyes are about to burst into flames, he puts a towel on.

 

But.....

Oops! When Billy approaches you, your awkward flailing causes his towel to fall away and he calls you sassy. Holy shit Billy, I can't even with you.

 

Your screams lead to Soh busting through the door and Hayate jumping through the window to save you with their manly bare chests.

 

And then you stupidly turn down an invitation to shower with all three of them. BOO.

 

Any way, there is an actual plot line involving illegal weapons or something going on, it's not all naked boys and vigorous attempts to keep your fangirl nosebleeds under control. To try and gather information about your dad's whereabouts and the weapons smuggling or other things that I don't recall, you and Billy go undercover as a rich, American businessperson and a translator/secretary. Take a wild guess which one you are.

 

He was only doing this to throw off the enemy, or so he says. Also MC needs to chill out, if we're getting this excited by him kissing her on her neck then she's going to have a brain aneurism when we get to the sweet ending.

 

Billy ends up getting shot, the B-Team saves you both, and then you take care of Billy while he tries to convince you to let him take care of you....IN BED. (Goemon reference!!)

 

That would be lovely, please and thank you.

 

You then have some premonition that something horrible is about to happen, so everyone evacuates the mansion you were staying in right before it explodes. You of course pass out, because we can't go through a story without the MC losing consciousness, it's like a law or something. You wake up to Billy taking care of you, but while he's being nice he also decides to crush your heart like a jackass.

 

Oh, cool.

 

Oh, so it just gets worse.

 

And in case he wasn't clear, he later on also tells Soh as well, just so everyone is on the same page.

 

I GET IT BILLY, THANKS.

 

At that point when Billy talks to Soh about how he has no feelings for you my heart shattered into a million pieces. But there's no time for drowning yours sorrows in American ice cream, you have special powers too and you have travel to New York to try and find your dad, who isn't actually your biological dad, and save the world with the A and B-Teams.

 

So apparently Billy's budgie smugglers, pet names for you, and his total mockery of your emotions in which he acts like he wants you and says the sweetest things ever one second, then says you're like a baby family member has totally pulled at your heartstrings because you're in love with him hardcore at this point. But he lets you down in that horrible way where boys let you down by saying you deserve better, it's not you it's them, or you are just emotional and don't know what you're feeling even though YOU ARE THE ONE THAT'S FUCKING FEELING IT.

 

 

 

Don't tell me what to do with my life Billy!

 

 I was having flashbacks of what has basically been my entire life regarding boys and my chest hurt.

 

 

I put the game down for an entire day because I couldn't handle the nonsense and all the feels, and also because I wanted to finish watching Ouran High School Host Club. I loves me some Kyouya.

A wild Kyouya appears. This has nothing to do with Billy, but look how cute he is!

Then Raguel shows up and since you have powers and you're a Babilom like him and that's all he's really looking for in a woman apparently, he asks you a little question.

I guess he doesn't ask so much as demand. Then right after this he kidnaps you and throws Billy out a window. Pretty unique proposal I suppose.

 

The A-Team shows up after Raguel basically sexually assaults you and puts you under his mind control, so you say you don't know who the heck these Village People wannabes are and that you're totally stoked about marrying Raguel. This of course makes Billy lose his shit, because it's okay for him to tell you that you mean nothing to him, but heaven forbid you say the same thing back to him.

I gave you like a billionty chances, but that's a pretty cool pose so I guess I'll hear you out.

You snap out of the mind control and use your powers to weaken Raquel, who disappears into the night, but promises he'll be back for you. Then Billy tells you his sad backstory about the death of his family, including his baby sister, and you're so overcome with emotion that you jump his bones. For real, like you guys just totally have sexy times right now, and we're not even at the end yet.

This is the second time the naked as the day whoever was born line was used in this story. I disliked it both times.

 Then there's a submarine, a battle, you find your dad, everyone almost dies in a brain control device, and you use your powers to help save the day.

Good job you.

Then Billy asks you to marry him, and complete AWESOMENESS ensues. You get married, and then you head to your room.

OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS THE SWEET ENDING ALMOST MADE ME FAINT LIKE EVERY MC I'VE EVER KNOWN.

Look away now if you are not prepared for some pretty intense screenshots.

 

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH

Are you serious right now?!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?!

 

 

 

That's not even all of it you guys! There's much more, I just couldn't post all of it here because I still haven't recovered from reading it all the first time. OH MY GOSH THIS ENDING ALMOST KILLED ME.

 

I really liked Billy's route. He's arrogant, but also so, so sweet and once he admits he loves you he is completely amazing and loving and DID I MENTION THE ENDING?

 

Wendy's Otome Rating Scale

 

8 fangirl screams out of 10.

 

Preferred snacks for Billy's route;

 

An 18 oz steak with a side of ketchup.

 

Lots of french fries, with a side of what we in Utah lovingly refer to as "fry sauce". It is literally ketchup and mayonnaise mixed together. I'm serious, and I'm also serious about it's deliciousness.

 

A Coca-Cola in a glass bottle with a side of apple pie. Get American as shit while you play Billy's route.