Shall We Date?: Can't Say No, Akira Kasamatsu Review (Happy and Sweet Endings)

 

Shall We Date?: Can't Say No is my first requested game review!!!! Yay!!!

Sidenote: If you have any games you would like me to review, let me know! They have to be available on IPhone though, since that's what I have.

I chose Akira first because he was first in the list of characters. That's really all there was to it. And I chose him even though he looked like this in the prologue.

Those are the angriest eyebrows I've ever seen.

I had no idea what this game was about, but after reading the prologue I figured it would be slightly similar to In Your Arms Tonight by Voltage, just probably with more descriptive sexy times which is usually the case with Shall We Date. You guys, I was not prepared for what was about to happen.....not at all. I get so excited to play new games and so I was super stoked about this, but this game totally threw me for a loop.

Yay new otome.....wait, WTF is happening?!?!

 

**SPOILERS AND SCREENSHOTS AND ALL AROUND CRAZINESS AHEAD**

You're a business woman, though I'm not entirely sure what your job is exactly, and you find a pretty nice little coffee shop that becomes your new favorite place. That is probably because the owner looks like Clark Gable and his grandson named Leo is the cutest thing on the planet.

 

Alright Solmare, do not tease me with Leo's adorable blushing face and the owner's old school Hollywood movie star good looks and then NOT HAVE ROUTES FOR THEM. I don't care that the owner is at least twice my age, I want to get all Gone with the Wind with him, curtain dress and everything.

 

Plus there's this guy who also hangs out there that reminds me a bit of Ren.

 

Seriously, if they don't start busting out routes for these people I am flying to Japan to protest outside the Solmare building.

 

 

Sadly this lovely coffee shop full of routeless guys is also where your fiancé decides to break up with you because marriage is just not his thing apparently.

 

He says and then leaves like he didn't just alter your entire future. Quickest breakup ever.

 

You sit there in shock, but then you're super hot, crazy eyed boss Akira Kasamatsu shows up right after and seems genuinely worried about you.

 

His eyes do not look crazy here, but I promise you for most of the route he looks insane.

 

He invites you out for a drink and you tell him all your troubles, which is exactly what I would want to have happen if my fiancé had just dumped me IN A COFFEE SHOP, not even somewhere private. My sorrows would most definitely need to drown in a huge cocktail while I stare into the crazy eyes of a hot dude. Then this happens....

 

There are the crazy eyes! Also at this point I thought hell yeah, you go for it MC. I mean why not? Drunken rebound sex is not a bad thing necessarily, especially when the guy is a sexy redhead in a suit.

 

There's nothing worse than a logical thinking person when you're drunk and horny. Keep your valid points away from me!

 

 I mean, that's a pretty strong statement, so why don't we just go...

 

...oh, apparently he didn't need a whole lot of convincing. 

 Then it basically jumps straight into sexy times!!

 

I'm not going to lie, the thought of doing something this naughty with someone like your super hot boss is incredibly enticing.

And I thought to myself that this game is definitely going to be interesting, and also I better grab some ice and a fan to help cool myself down because holy shit.

 

The next day, while you're still wearing the same clothes you were wearing the night before that most certainly smell like desperation and bad life choices, Akira meets you again at the coffee shop.

 

Well thank heavens, or else this whole situation would be awkward. Even more awkward then running into your boss the day after you had drunken sex with him and you're still wearing the same clothes you were wearing the night before.

 

And then he says some other kind things, and you guys end up back at the hotel for more sexy times and Akira in his underpants while talking on the phone to someone.

 

So Akira is a briefs man apparently. Also a sidenote, dude's upper thighs totally freak me out in real life. I have no idea why, but I do not find them the least bit sexy unless they are swimmers. That is a true, albeit nonsensical fact about me.

 

Honestly, there is a lot of very descriptive fictional character sex in this route.

 

Oh, BURN!! Sucks to be Kaoru.

 

What I liked most about this route to this point was how real it felt. Sometimes shit happens, and grown ass people sleep together simply because they want to, and it may not always be the best decision but it's not necessarily something to regret or read too much into. I may or may not know this from experience...

 

And then you have a little conversation with your coworker, who looks like a serial killer by the way, that completely changes everything.

 

This man is plotting your murder as we speak.

Oh probabl......WAIT, WHAT?!?!?!?!

 

No, no, no, no.

 

So, that sucks. I was not really prepared for that AT ALL.

 

At this point you're falling in love with Akira, and when you ask him about the whole BEING MARRIED thing, he says he wasn't trying to hide it from you or anything. I guess he just forgot to mention it while he was ripping your clothes off.

 

 You go back to your coffee shop to get advice from the owner, who I really feel is tired of your shit but needs your money, so he'll listen and give you advice even though he thinks you're a dumbass.

 

Look at the owner's face! "What is wrong with this person? Are you fucking kidding me right now?" That is not amazement on their faces, that is complete shock with a heaping side of judgment.

 

 

Leo tells you that if it were him, he would steal the person away from their significant other, but I believe it's because he secretly likes to bask in the glow of other people's misery. It's always the adorable ones that are secretly evil.

 

You think that Leo's idea is pretty brilliant, and from here on out the MC just totally loses her mind altogether and becomes a horrible person that I could no longer stand. I mean, you steal his phone at one point while he's talking to his wife, then later you call her from his phone and hang up when she answers like you're a freaking 12 year old.

 

WHY?!?!

 

FOR WHAT PURPOSE?

 

Despite the fact that you are now a lunatic, Akira still seems to love you even though if things keep progressing like they are you are both going to be on an episode of Snapped really soon.

 

Apparently everyone in this game is actually a preteen. I think a boy asked me this once when I was in 5th grade, along with a plastic rose he had purchased from the gas station.

 

He even buys you a ring as a symbol of your shared immaturity.

 

Also in between all of these things is some kind of sexy times. If I took screenshots of all the sex in this route, I would most definitely have developed carpal tunnel syndrome.

 

So you run into a woman at work, and the two of you become fast friends after sharing your stockings with her. That is how true friendships are born, duh.

 

You take her to your coffee shop where you tell her you're having an affair with a married man, because that's totally the kind of thing you blab about to someone you've just met, and she tells you that she thinks her husband is having an affair. Small world, right?

 

She even mentions the SILENT PHONE CALL.

 

So instead of being as freaking paranoid as a person having an affair should be, you accept her invitation to visit her home. There you see that the last name on the callbox for her apartment is Kasamatsu, yet still the MC doesn't really put two and two together.

 

That is wishful thinking and denial all rolled into the biggest mess of stupid that I've ever seen.

 

Then you see one of Akira's shirts, then his watch, and still the MC tries to pretend that everything is fine and dandy. It's not until Azumi busts out her photo album of her honeymoon with Akira that the MC FINALLY realizes that she's inside the very home she's trying to wreck.

 

So imagine the shock and surprise of absolutely no one when later on Kazumi shows up at the coffee shop YOU TOOK HER TO, while you're sitting there with her husband.

 

At first I thought Kazumi was also an idiot for not putting it all together, but I realized that's she's actually an evil genius who probably realized pretty quickly that the MC was the other woman in her husband's life.

Yet she doesn't admit it out loud, she just very coolly handles the whole situation like a moterfucking badass.

OH SHIT. You are most likely about to be murdered.

 

 Eventually you go back to the owner for some more advice, which I'm sure he is thrilled about because I just know he opened up a coffee shop so he could listen to people bitch about their horrible decisions and life problems. That's what BARS are for people! Coffee shops are for keeping to yourself while silently judging those around you.

 

Then you get one of three endings; sweet, which is what I got the first time I played, happy, and normal. I'll talk about the sweet and happy endings, but I can't for the life of me getting the normal ending for some reason.

 

SWEET ENDING

AKA The Most Logical Ending

 

The owner of the coffee shop gives you some advice while using the tastes of different kinds of coffee to explain the bitterness/sweetness that comes along with love. Either that or he's tired of listening to people's problems and he's started slipping something extra into his own coffee so he's completely drunk right now, but either way he helps you come to a decision.

  

You realize that you've been an idiot, and though you still love Akira, that doesn't change the fact that he's a huge douchebag, so you break up with him.

 

 

And by everything, I mean sex.

 

You get a new job in another town, giving the coffee shop owner a bit of a respite from your stupid face and problems. You meet with serial killer coworker for lunch, and he informs you that Akira is now divorced. You decide to visit the coffee shop again, where you run into Akira, but you don't even talk to each other.

 

 

 

 

And you go your separate ways.

 

 

This was my first ending, and I thought to myself that this is how it should be, even though it's not the happiest of endings. That relationship was obviously toxic and horrible, so abandoning ship was probably for the best. And even though Akira wasn't horrible all the time, and he said some cute things, took care of you, and was apparently amazing in bed, he was still not relationship material.

 

HAPPY ENDING

AKA Well this is a train wreck waiting to happen....

 

The owner gives you a little bit of advice, but he's really phoning it in at this point because his tolerance for you has worn extremely thin. You inform him that you love Akira, and you're going to be by his side forever like a complete stalker.

 

At that very moment, Akira shows up with some wonderful(?) news.

 

 

And then...

 

 

The best time to make a lifelong commitment to someone is immediately after you break the lifelong commitment you made with someone else.

 

You say yes of course, because it's not like this relationship is doomed or anything.

 

I really think they're clapping because they're hopeful they won't have to listen to you whine anymore about how hard it is to have an affair.

 

Okay if this is your first thought after accepting someone's proposal, it's probably best to just cut and run.

 

 

 

Ummm.....

....congrats I guess?

So I'm not going to get into some kind of moral argument about affairs, one night stands, women being completely cool with their sexuality and using that to their advantage, etc, because this is a game after all and my opinion on that doesn't matter in this context. I am going to say that I did not hate this route, but I can see why a lot of people won't be fans of it.

 

I liked the realism, but I hated how bat shit crazy the MC became. This had the potential of being a really interesting story, but it resorted to the MC being a complete idiot and the relationship was immature. Love is complex, and sometimes you fall in love with someone you shouldn't, but that doesn't make you a bad person. Being a fucking lunatic though and acting like a child makes you extremely unlikable however.

 

I just ended up disliking the MC so much that I couldn't really get into the story which is a shame. Though the sexy times, to be honest, were fucking amazing and well worth the price of admission.

 

Also, I hope that in the normal ending Akira comes to terms with his sexuality and gets together with the coffee shop owner, and they live a nice quiet life while the MC sinks into alcoholism, eventually goes to rehab, and finally gets her shit together and grows up.

Wendy's Otome Rating Scale

 

4.5 fangirl screams out of 10.

 

Preferred snacks for Akira's route;

 

Cheetos, since you're a cheater. It's kind of a pun? I don't know, I have a migraine right now so I'm not thinking clearly.

 

Ice chips, to keep yourself cool during all the amazingly hot sex scenes.

 

Shots of tequila. It just tastes like bad decisions and makes some people act like lunatics, so it'll get you completely ready for this route and all it's nonsense.